Saturday, December 11, 2004
Cuddling and snuggling are sure signs of a happy couple. But what does it mean if you prefer opposite sides of the bed or even a ton of space? Guide to love between sheets!
You sleep. You dream. You make love. You cuddle. What more can be said about sharing a bed? Well as it turns out, quite a lot. Many psychiatrists have been analyzing the body language of sleep for more than 25 years and believe that sleep positions can reveal certain truths about you and your marriage. As the years pass, our sleep positions may change and evolve, but they continue to take our emotional pulse. How do you and your partner sleep? Let us count the ways.
You sleep. You dream. You make love. You cuddle. What more can be said about sharing a bed? Well as it turns out, quite a lot. Many psychiatrists have been analyzing the body language of sleep for more than 25 years and believe that sleep positions can reveal certain truths about you and your marriage. As the years pass, our sleep positions may change and evolve, but they continue to take our emotional pulse. How do you and your partner sleep? Let us count the ways.
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So close, so safe, this is the most common sleep position for the first three to five years of marriage. Usually, the man is the embracer. When a woman assumes the posterior position, it may indicate she is the more giving partner or that he needs special nurturing. Semi fetal, genitals against buttocks, the Spoon provides both of you with maximum physical closeness, though it's not necessarily erotic. Many couples simply find the Spoon a comforting, safe cocoon. During early marriage, couples tend to maintain the spoon position for much of the night, mirroring each other. When one person turns, the other follows suit, so that the spoon position is resumed on the opposite side. But just because you've been married a while doesn't mean you have to give up this closeness.
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Face-to-face, the Hug is the Rolls Royce of intimacy. Less common than the Spoon (and uncomfortable to maintain throughout the night), the Hug tends to occur at love's blazing beginning, when you're so deeply enamored you wish you could fuse, or just after lovemaking. Some couples return to it over the years during periods of special joy. And a few refuse to give it up, though. What if your husband likes the Hug and you find it stifling? Like other marital issues, sleep positions are negotiable. Try the Hug until he falls asleep, then sneak off to a more comfortable position.
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One partner (typically the man) lies face up, the "royal" position (bespeaking a strong ego and a sense of entitlement). Although the woman also lies on her back, her head is on his shoulder, suggesting, she is the more dependent and compliant partner. By looking at the world from the same perspective as his, she achieves a strengthening sense of comradeship and protection. Couples favor this position, which speaks of a strong commitment, early in marriage. There's a high level of trust here. You're like a turtle on its back, exposing yourself, open to all kinds of touching. If you're not comfortable sleeping face up, but want the coziness of such proximity, try the Reverse Shingle, lie facedown, with your body overlapping your husband's. Not only might you sleep better, but you'll be delivering a sweet message. This represents an attempt to focus total attention on your partner, even in sleep.
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This is a more fused version of Shingles, because you're actually being held rather than just supported by an available shoulder. Consequently, this position makes you feel like the recipient of a generous and loving gift, especially if you're going through a time crisis or special need. You're literally being brought in under the wing. It's a very nurturing position. But there's no reason you must wait for a crisis to try this position. Nor must your husband always do the cradling. Wrapping him in your arms while you talk in bed at night is an intimate way to reconnect after a stressful day. It's also a great position to fall asleep in while watching TV, no matter who has the clicker.
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When love is new, partners will often sacrifice the pleasure of their preferred sleep positions to the rewarding intimacy of couple sleep. Five or so years into marriage, many couples feel secure enough to allow a bit more space and comfort into their bed. Often, they'll sleep tethered, like spoons but with distance between them. The emotional current is sustained by a touching hand, knee, or foot. This can be a way of balancing the need for space and the need for closeness. It also diminishes the pressure for sex. It's an affectionate, not sexual, position. Of course, you can get closer whenever you like.
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Some couples aren't comfortable establishing physical contact directly, and need to go about it as if it were almost by chance, your toes or feet "accidentally" touch, or your leg is casually thrown over his. Although such casual contact could imply that you or your husband are ambivalent about expressing affection, or intentionally withholding it maybe after a fight it may also speak of healthy camaraderie. Hooked legs suggest familiarity, comfort, and a daring quality as well, almost like a dress code. After all, you have to have a pretty strong foundation to assume such physical proprietorship even when you're fighting.
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Sleep positions can reflect passing tensions and discord in a marriage. For example, after a disagreement, your husband may suddenly turn his back and retreat to the far side of the bed. If you then pursue and push up against him in your sleep, that's called Illegal Spooning. Sometimes, though, the message intended by the person pulling away isn't clear. The partner who distances may actually want to be pursued. His or her distancing becomes an invitation. Will you take the initiative to come closer? Or maybe the partner feels tired of always being the one who initiates the hugs and is thinking, If I snuggle up next to you and you accept it, it's not the same as you coming after me. In this situation, rather than Illegal Spooning, it's a test, a dance of the spoons. Resist the temptation to treat your sleep styles like a pass-fail exam. Learn how to read your mate's body language as well as your own, but don't jump to conclusions. Sleep positions are a conversation starter, not an instant horoscope.
Sleep positions can reflect passing tensions and discord in a marriage. For example, after a disagreement, your husband may suddenly turn his back and retreat to the far side of the bed. If you then pursue and push up against him in your sleep, that's called Illegal Spooning. Sometimes, though, the message intended by the person pulling away isn't clear. The partner who distances may actually want to be pursued. His or her distancing becomes an invitation. Will you take the initiative to come closer? Or maybe the partner feels tired of always being the one who initiates the hugs and is thinking, If I snuggle up next to you and you accept it, it's not the same as you coming after me. In this situation, rather than Illegal Spooning, it's a test, a dance of the spoons. Resist the temptation to treat your sleep styles like a pass-fail exam. Learn how to read your mate's body language as well as your own, but don't jump to conclusions. Sleep positions are a conversation starter, not an instant horoscope.
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As time passes in a marriage, the tendency to restore privacy to sleep increases. As the couple's closeness becomes fully established and less exploratory, a renewed sense of each partner's individuality is likely to arise. For some couples, that means buying increasingly larger beds to accommodate one or both partners' need for space. Other couples find a compromise in the Zen position. Touching buttocks allows for large-surface contact and private connection, but without clinging. Like two circles, separate but overlapping, this position is a perfect definition of interdependence. It's good for when the kids have got the best of you with their constant clinging and you need a sense of your own space.
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When your partner suddenly retreats to the far side of the bed without waiting to see if you give chase, it's tempting to diagnose rejection in that stony back. Should you? Experts stress there is no "good" or "right" sleep position in marriage. Although any deviation from the usual could indicate a problem, most of marriage is about partners working with each other's vulnerabilities. In other words, rather words, rather than worry or steam, try to see what’s behind the sudden withdrawal. Angel? Grief? Anxiety? If you know he's going through a trying time, give the man the space, you'd want the same if we're sad, or stressed, and simply needed to regroup. In time he'll roll back toward you. And consider this. Maybe he's finally comfortable enough to admit he'd rather get a good night's sleep away from you than cuddle up together, listening to you snore or grind your teeth. If the distance leaves you lonely, maybe you can suggest that you at least start the night together. If you still sense distance, it may be time to have a heart-to-heart to find out what's really going on.
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Are you or your parter sleeping in a really peculiar position, maybe sliding halfway off the bed (as if to escape from each other) or ending up head-to-toe (as if you're traveling in different directions)? Pay attention. You or your partner may be acting out an unacknowledged need to pull away from each other, from the marriage. If you suspect that's the case, a marriage counselor may help you sort what's going on beneath the surface of your relationship. But unless there are other signs of discontent, don't assume that a weird new position is a nuclear strike. Unless there appears to be a power struggle being waged during the night and the day, don't over-interpret. When you sit in a chair or on the sofa, you don't always sit in the same way. Sometimes when we're hurting we want closeness and sometimes we want space. And sometimes we're just very creative in bed.
timed out - 4:49:00 PM
Friday, December 10, 2004
Mantilla Garcia, a 20-year-old brunette, beat Claudia Julissa Cruz-Rodriguez, 18, from the Dominican Republic and Nancy Randall, 24, from the United States to take the crown.
"I am so happy and surprised, it is one of the few things I have always wanted," Mantilla Garcia told reporters. Mantilla Garcia's win came as something of a suprise as she was not one of the five contestants earlier chosen to be finalists after winning various competitions in the past weeks. "I was surprised, yes, very surprised but am very happy too," she said. Asked what her plans were for the next year, the new Miss World, who was wearing a low-cut peacock blue evening dress, said she wanted to be involved in charity works and to learn more English."Sorry I can't speak much English, I need to learn more," she said. Mantilla Garcia was crowned by the reigning champion, 2003's Miss Ireland Rosanna Davison, daughter of "Lady in Red" pop crooner Chris de Burgh. The newly crowned Miss World earned 100,000 US dollars in prize money and as part of her contract obligation will go on to perform a variety of duties largely focused on fundraising for charitable organisations. Mantilla Garcia was born in Trujillo on the north coast of Peru. She is studying to become a high school teacher, but said she is also considering a career in tourism. Cheers at the packed 3,000-seat venue were loudest for Miss China, who did not make it into the finals. This year's contest, held in the resort town of Sanya in the tropical island province of Hainan, saw 107 beauty queens parade their looks and talents at the Beauty Crown Theatre. US star Lionel Richie was the most high-profile celebrity to take part in the beauty pageant, singing his hits "Hello" and "Say you, say me". For the first time, Miss World hopefuls had to use their charms and youthful beauty to impress millions of television viewers worldwide who picked the winner via telephone, SMS text and Internet voting. Previously the winner was chosen by a panel of judges. Miss World organiser Julia Morley announced Friday that the 55th contest next year would return to the beach resort for the third consecutive year, following the controversy and sectarian violence that marred the 2002 event in Nigeria.
timed out - 11:48:00 AM
"I am so happy and surprised, it is one of the few things I have always wanted," Mantilla Garcia told reporters. Mantilla Garcia's win came as something of a suprise as she was not one of the five contestants earlier chosen to be finalists after winning various competitions in the past weeks. "I was surprised, yes, very surprised but am very happy too," she said. Asked what her plans were for the next year, the new Miss World, who was wearing a low-cut peacock blue evening dress, said she wanted to be involved in charity works and to learn more English."Sorry I can't speak much English, I need to learn more," she said. Mantilla Garcia was crowned by the reigning champion, 2003's Miss Ireland Rosanna Davison, daughter of "Lady in Red" pop crooner Chris de Burgh. The newly crowned Miss World earned 100,000 US dollars in prize money and as part of her contract obligation will go on to perform a variety of duties largely focused on fundraising for charitable organisations. Mantilla Garcia was born in Trujillo on the north coast of Peru. She is studying to become a high school teacher, but said she is also considering a career in tourism. Cheers at the packed 3,000-seat venue were loudest for Miss China, who did not make it into the finals. This year's contest, held in the resort town of Sanya in the tropical island province of Hainan, saw 107 beauty queens parade their looks and talents at the Beauty Crown Theatre. US star Lionel Richie was the most high-profile celebrity to take part in the beauty pageant, singing his hits "Hello" and "Say you, say me". For the first time, Miss World hopefuls had to use their charms and youthful beauty to impress millions of television viewers worldwide who picked the winner via telephone, SMS text and Internet voting. Previously the winner was chosen by a panel of judges. Miss World organiser Julia Morley announced Friday that the 55th contest next year would return to the beach resort for the third consecutive year, following the controversy and sectarian violence that marred the 2002 event in Nigeria.
It was certainly one amazing night at Anfield where Liverpool won 3-1 over Olympiacos.
Things looked bleak when Rivaldo's free-kick put Olympiacos 1-0 up but a magnificent second half comeback sent Anfield into a frenzy of delerium as Rafael Benitez's Liverpool qualified for the last 16 of the Champions League. Substitutes Florent Sinama-Pongolle and Neil Mellor played a major part in the victory by both scoring to make it 2-1, then when Mellor used his head to set up Steven Gerrard there was only one destination when the ball left his right foot and that was the Kop net. It was a truly special night!
timed out - 1:00:00 AM
Things looked bleak when Rivaldo's free-kick put Olympiacos 1-0 up but a magnificent second half comeback sent Anfield into a frenzy of delerium as Rafael Benitez's Liverpool qualified for the last 16 of the Champions League. Substitutes Florent Sinama-Pongolle and Neil Mellor played a major part in the victory by both scoring to make it 2-1, then when Mellor used his head to set up Steven Gerrard there was only one destination when the ball left his right foot and that was the Kop net. It was a truly special night!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
This is pretty interesting, my days are passing by so slowly with boredom. I am actually trying to get over the 1 month semester break which started on the 4th of December. Still a long way to go! It seems to me few days back my ordinary event includes waking up at 9am, brush my teeth then have light breakfast which maybe either fitness nestle cereal or else toast with butter. Shortly I’ll go online for a while and then watch TV. The program really sucks in the morning even in Astro. After that, I help my mom around the house with the regular house chouse like a fine and helpful daughter. I help her out to sweep the floor, making the beds, washing the dishes, folding the cloths, water the plants, take out the trash and etc. Then I have my lunch while watching Oprah at exactly 1pm. I’m gaining interest in Oprah show lately and I don’t know why? Maybe because she has a lot to say and most of the topic hold my interests. Anyway later once more I surf the net while watching TV in between and have some tea together with delicious cookies. Afterward I call my friends and chat for hours and at 6pm time for The Simpsons show. I love the Simpsons cartoon very much! At 7:30pm I won’t miss my favorite sitcom the Friends. Later on, have my dinner as usual while watching TV and sleep after 12. In conclusion, I watch the TV at least 40% and surf the internet another 40%. The other 20% I guess I spend it wisely.
timed out - 8:20:00 PM
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
How many types of animal or insects can you spot in the picture?
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Monday, December 06, 2004
Picture of the week especially for my friends
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.......................Hmmmmm.......................
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.....................SOMEONE WAS .................
............................ HERE .........................
.....................I CAN FEEL IT...................
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